Monday, December 14, 2009

Four loaves of bread, wine and a shoe

It is fantastic that we have hit the end of the year and that means there is a lot of good food, wine and company to be had. Over the weekend I attended the Zim Christmas dinner and it proved to be a night to remember. Just to kick things off:

Bet I have your attention now. Very nice Sarah (known by most as Sexy Seh)

As with every Zimbabwean run and attended event you get a strong feeling in your gut just prior to arrival that you may have very well just lived through your last day on this earth. There is never a guarantee that you will survive and if you do will you live long enough to see your parents again. It is a very touch and go moment and even the toughest of men have been known to crack. I pushed through the fear and dived right in... The Guinness that I had put down just before leaving helped the nerves and I felt like I could take on the world.

The evening started off with the usual small talk which escalated quickly to slurring that only those of us in the room could ever hope to understand. Was like walking through a foreign village where only two in forty people can speak english... I have to take my hat off to those people. They have many names but they are most commonly known as 'the designated driver'... poor bastards pulled the short straw.

We were marched off into the dining area with strict instructions to sit only at our designated tables and that we would soon be moving. Moving? Moving where? To another table of course after the starters. Fair enough. So with a tear in my eye I had to abandon my newly lit cigarette (cancer stick) along with others and head towards table 3.

The meals were fantastic and the booze flowed as smoothly as a virgins long flowing locks in the summer rain. Extensive research has shown that consumption of alcohol makes one feel more at ease and more likely to carry out a lengthy conversation about nothing in particular. Little skeptical about this but it certainly brings out the animal in everyone and the party really gets fired up.

After a small Christmas pressie give away deal which was coordinated with an iron fist I managed to walk away with a bottle of some of South Africas finest wine, 'The Good Habit'.

Any wine that has four nuns on its labeled gets my seal of approval. The wine itself tasted like jet fuel and I think I am still feeling its bitter sweet after effects (It's Monday and I went through this on Saturday). It really is that good and if you would like to get your hands on some you can pick up a bottle here. I only recommend a single bottle as more than that may put you into an uncontrolled coma.

Other presents included five or six triple shots of vodka that went to those who failed to bring presents. Only one was smart enough to pass hers on to someone else (in true Zim fashion we could steal other peoples prezzies). Needless to say, they were looking a little worse for wear by the time pudding had gone round. Someone walked away with a half inch cactus and a kite, others got shower kits and some lucky bastard walked away with a braai kit. I hope whoever got the four loaves of bread that I brought is still enjoying it. I have a sneaky suspicion that they will be enjoying it for a while still.

The debauchery continued and as we were fast approaching the point that the Kelvin Grove security would arrive in full riot gear to ask us to leave, the casualties were seen everywhere. Cigarettes were now in short supply and due to Kelvins strict policies there was no black market for them that we could rely on.  A couple of characters had taken such a blow that they were now arguing over which Aqua song to play... I think we settled on 'Barbie Girl' but I can't be sure as I was enjoying it just as much as them. And from the photo you can see that someone in attempt to start up a black market bata system had nicked one of this poor chaps shoes. It was either that or someone had gotten a bout of the munchies and mistaken the shoe for a Happy Meal. Zimbo's can and will eat pretty much anything.

Thank god everyone survived the night even though the casualties were extensive on Sunday. They could be seen tenderly buying a red ambulance (Coke) from their closest retailer before quickly disappearing back into the hole from which they had crawled not to appear again for several hours.

Thanks guys for putting it together, hope we can do it again next year. Also thanks to the French man and his lovely lady whom he  showered with wine, was very entertaining. As well as the recently graduated builder, fantastic job keeping everyone entertained.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

ha ha!!! oh my word...i can't believe you actually did it!!! but i still think it is a really HOT pic..thanks murray..
oh and we were fighting over Barbie Girl (aqua) and Venga Boys (boom boom boom, i want you in my room) really resisting not putting up all the lyrics, which I know of course!!:))