Saturday, December 19, 2009

Man Flu - The Signs and symptoms

For any woman out there, please, when your man goes down with the flu please realize that his life is really on the fence. If he is not given an excessive amount of pandering, love and chicken-mushroom soup (preferably from Woolworths because your moms won't match) he may just slip off the side of the fence that is the less preferable.

I do no think that people understand the severity of man flu (not to be confused with normal flu). I have had it for the last couple of days and was lucky enough to pull through with no one really there to hold my hand through the ordeal. It was a nightmare. Waking up with a gaping hole from a balls up appendix operation was less painful, you are in constant fear that your life will be ending within the next five minutes and all of those things you wanted to do before you died you will never be able to (for me it would be slapping Joe Jackson... pillock). You have seen the movies that have underlings of the real story being about the main character having man flu and if he does not pull through the world will end, be taken over by hell or always a favorite, taken over a robot ruled society (oh yes, Terminator had man flu).

So, if you find that your man has severe difficulty in moving more than his big toe, he is sweating profusely (probably caused by the twelve layers of dow blankets), smelling quite bad (can't get to shower, and again, the sweating) and is moaning excessively (can't move, is hot and smells like a bergie)  then he has the flu. He is to be treated very delicately. For a couple of days after he claims he has fully recovered make sure he is appropriately pampered. He is trying to show you how much of man he is while actually still ill and so should be looked after... even if he looks and smells completely fine.

An informative video so that you know what you are looking for.

For any men that may be currently suffering from this potentially fatal illness our prayers are with you.

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