Thursday, December 10, 2009

WTF is that?

For the last month and a half I have been on an extensive apartment hunting expedition. I have traveled far and wide in an attempt to find what promises to be the creme de la creme of student apartments. I don't think I ask for too much. All I ask for is a two bedroom apartment with secure parking as well as enough space to land a small jumbo. Would also be great to have the surround sound stereo with speakers throughout with a high definition TV in each room and a large theatre type set up in the lounge where the speakers will magically appear from the walls. The lounge should be large enough (and tough enough) to accomodate the largest of rugby supporters clubs. The bar will of course only have the most expensive of beverages.... Windhoek. And when delivery of a beer takes place it will be done by scantily dressed brunettes (blondes are so last year) who shall be your host while you are guest and shall be there for my every whim once you leave.

I really could go on but its not asking for much you understand. I have looked at some real shitty apartments and met some very odd characters through my travels. Yesterday however I came across a neighborhood where normal rules of science and evolution did no apply. The apartment itself was a rip off and I was not all that into it... They only offered a landing area big enough for a small Cessna aircraft. When I however was in the car ready to leave I spotted the strangest looking creature ever. Ladies and gentleman my I please introduce you to squircat....

Apologies on  the quality of the image but as you can quite clearly see there has been some hectic cross breeding going on in this area. Either that or Little Johnny (who I am a huge fan of) got hold of his hold mans Gillette Mach 4 and had his way on Mr Fluffys tail. But who does that? Nah, crossbreeding is the answer (I also know for a fact that Little Johnny is grounded for calling his english teacher a **** and won't be out of the doghouse for a while).

You can imagine that I did spend some time in the car with my binoculars and mammals of Southern Africa guidebook (available in all good bookstores), which I always carry in case I should ever run across a squircat. After at least 15 seconds I got over it realized that Johnny had taken a shot at his old mans family jewels, made a dash for the door and wasted no time with dads Mach 3 (Mach 4 is in Christmas stocking) in "trimming" the neighbors cat.

I was very disappointed as I thought I really had discovered something new here. Fortunately I have  just come back from the Waterfront and have discovered something even more fascinating... Is it a lion, cheetah or leopard, and does it have a mane or a wig.... and why is it green?

Apparently its name is Zakumi (sounds like its from a Chinese cartoon or is a type of sushi... fantastic with a bit of wasabi). He is the mascot for the 2010 World Cup if you couldn't already tell. And is "a 14-year-old 'green-maned' young leopard"... He is an abomination of God and will be categorized under "gay marriages and stuff" by the Catholic church. If you want to read a bit more about this very odd charactor you can check out the official 2010 site here.

No comments: