Videogioco

This guy probably spent so much time creating this he had no time left to make friends. I'm so impressed I'd be his friend though. Check this out.



Pretty effing cool right!

Some Clarity

Anything I put up is not meant to be insulting to anyone... okay... not EVERYONE. But if you find something that may have some likeness to you please do not get all bent out of shape and threaten to cause potentially fatal damage to my cat... He is after all a machine and will end your life. It's meant to be light hearted so enjoy and enjoy that others are finding some amusement in you

Engens African Welcome

How would you welcome the world to Africa? Try think positive... That's what I struggled with the most when I first looked at the competition. The idea of arriving here for overseas tourists goes something like this:

Book into flight to Africa. All seems normal and you are quite excited about your trip to deep, dark africa. After a couple of hours of reading some really bad magazines in the departure lounge you are allowed to board the plane. Still excited about your trip that you are embarking on you fail to notice that the Air Zimbabwe plane you are flying on (because it was the cheapest and you are, after all a tight bastard) has its engines attached with what looks like reinforced steel but what is in fact duct tape. If you're lucky you won't be put next to one of those passengers that just wants to talk about how excited they are about their trip and their entire god dam life story... no one cares that your loser son has the Guitar Hero record at his high school... he's also the only kid at the school with no friends...

You decide to just chill and maybe work on falling asleep for what looks to be a ten hour flight. You kick back and swing open your little TV... fail... at the end of the little arm that swings out of your chair where the TV should be there is instead a chunk of what looks like could have been chicken.... TV? no... some oak thought it would be awesome as a portable and nicked it off the plane. You get over it and break out your bad magazines again.

After what seems like a lifetime you are informed that you will be taking off and all passengers need to buckle up. Awesome... you can't find the other end of the seat belt...

You now start getting a little anxious. That may have something to do with the fact that you have now noticed all that duct tape holding part of the plane together, your fellow passenger is now rattling on about how many aircraft disasters have taken pace in the last month and you are quite convinced that you just saw someone stuffing two live chickens into the overhead apartment. The clucking convinces you that you are right.

Suddenly flashes of final destination start going through your head and you are now almost in a blind panic of "I am so stuffed right now". Before you know it the engines are going and the plane is hurtling down the runway dodging all the live stock that has decided to occupy it. After the pilot manages to avoid all the cattle he smokes a goat which you see get sucked up into your duct tape engine and spat out as a large pile of mince... Effect on engine... Its wrapped in duct tape, its fecked anyway.

Plane in the air.... shit...

What follows over the next ten hours is unreal. You then finally arrive at O.R Tambo. On your way off the plane the chickens break free and attack you leaving you covered in chicken shit. Awesome. Quite frankly you don't care. You are just glad that you have arrived.

After finally clearing customs and passport control you feel like the whole ordeal is over until your cab driver beats you up and steals all your kit and leaves you on the side of the road for dead. Your whole African experience not working out as planned and all you want to do is go home.

Fortunately the reality of the situation is very different unless you’re flying to somewhere like Zim. Hell, anything could happen then.

What do you think of though when you think of arriving in Africa after a while away or just in general? Engen is doing a competition where you can win awesome prizes by telling them what your African welcome is. Check it out.

http://www.african-welcome.co.za/home/server/Index.aspx

Appreciating the Dedication

Occasionally you can hear yourself getting half way through a sentence, realizing you actually have absolutely no idea what you're talking about and you decide it would be safer for all parties involved to just stop there. There is however that different breed of homo sapien (thinking man) that refuses to acknowledge that fairly crucial thought pattern. They don't understand that if they continue on the same line of thought with complete disregard of what is coming out of their mouth that they may be cast out of the heard... If they are lucky that is.

Granted that after a few alcoholic beverages most of us don't really give a shit anyway and say the most ridiculous things anyway. We have an excuse though..."I'm sorry, I have no idea what I was talking about. Was soooooooo blallad!" Its only the real hard asses that continue along their lines of sticking to their point of argument that they had the night before.... at about three in the morning.... in a shebeen... drinking flavored toilet wine..... An argument that I have seen my three year old cousin argue better. She even was drooling less than these chops.

We get back to speaking without thinking. I was at a braai yesterday and a mate of mine (we're using this term mate very liberally here) starts rambling on about trees. It goes on for twenty odd minutes with no one really paying much attention. He then comes up with this gem:

"You can climb any tree given the right equipment..." now this is the point in the sentence most people would go... "well, shit, no one cares about climbing trees so I'm going to stop talking". But NO! He then continues to finish his sentence

"... like a ladder"....

Well, thanks so much Yoda. Your age and wisdom have truly enlightened me today.

So, the phrase homo sapien which means "thinking man" clearly does not classify this breed. they should be classified under the ANC youth league. If at all you are confused watch this clip of some ANC youth league spokesman when questioned about their comments about Helen Zille "sleeping around"...



I have to appreciate the dudes dedication to his point... idiot

The Most Awesome Headlines

I get a great deal of amusement off really funky, idiotic, and pretty not thought about headlines in the news. Just for shits and giggles I thought I'd see what I could find. All I did was google "ridiculous headlines" and this is what I got back

http://mistupid.com/people/page080.htm

Just a few magic ones I really enjoy:
Queen Mary having Bottom Scraped
Child's Stool great for use in Garden
Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests
Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax
....

There are some magic ones there

Thats not right it's just pornography

Everyone has their car make that they are dedicated to through thick and thin. I have friends that are so dedicated to Mercedes that if Norbert Haug (the big dick at Merc) was found to be involved in human trafficking they would endorse it.... Hell, half of them would probably help.

I'm not such a huge fan of merc. They are a tiresome brand that should only be driven by retirees on their way to the bowls club. These are the same guys that would have driven Audi's and played golf but in their weakened aged state there are concerns of crushed hips while trying to swing their clubs.

If you show me a BMW M anything I will do all matter of favor for you... Probably not in fact. I'd probably tell you where to shove it and gawk anyway. And this is my latest fetish that BBC_TopGear informed me of through Twitter.



If you don't get shivers just looking at this car I am absolutely blown away

Back to Reality and back again

Very rarely do you find something that just makes you cry. Not drowning small puppies kind of crying or being stabbed in the leg kind of crying.... If that makes you laugh you're just a freak and need psychiatric help.

The sort of crying that comes about just because you cannot contain yourself because it is just so god forsakingly funny. So funny that all you want to do is send it to every person you know out of work so that they may enjoy it as much as you have. Its done with the best intentions until you realize that the only reason you were able to get it through the email is because it came through the local server. If you have no idea where I'm going with this then email a friend or family member in zim some form of idiot message with a video file attached. (If at this stage you find yourself stuffed because you have no family in Zim and you just don't have any friends I'm sure we can make an arrangement to find someone equally as sad as you that you can email).

Anyway, what happens is that due to the nature of the local internet providers in Zim you completely cock up their email. The file takes so long to download on a dial up connection that it took less time for man to invent the wheel... Apparently in took a kuk long time (Oaks weren't so bright back in the day). No Steve Jobs was not the creator of everything that is technology... there were people before the iPod.

Having gone completely off topic I'd like to give you the most recent gem. Hope it entertains as much as it did me. To you gaming junkies, I take my hat off to you... only so that I may hit you with it. Enjoy